305.4

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Starting Weight
: 318.2 lbs.
Weight Last Week: 309 lbs.
Current Weight: 305.4  lbs.
Weekly Change: –3.6 lbs.
Total Weight Lost: 12.8 lbs.

I lost 3.6 pounds this week! I am currently only 3.4 pounds away from hitting my first big goal! Once my weight is down to 302 pounds, I’ll have officially lost 5% of my body fat! Once I achieve that goal, I can move on to bigger and better things–aka losing another 15 pounds so that I can hit my 10% goal!

I was somewhat unsure what my weight loss would look like today because I sort of came out of the Weight Watchers bubble this week. The week before last–the first week I started the program–I ate every single meal at home and didn’t consume anything drink-wise except for water. During that first week, I cut out coffee and tea, juice, and alcohol. I didn’t go out with any of my friends, and I avoided all fast food joints and other types of restaurants. Over this past week, that changed a bit–hence why I said that I came out of the Weight Watchers “bubble.”

I dropped by Weight Watchers to chat with my leader sans-meeting time this past week, and she said something to me during that chat that made me rethink my strategy a bit. She said, “If you are doing something now that you can’t do forever, then don’t do it.” Weight Watchers isn’t a diet–it’s a lifestyle. Weight Watchers teaches you how to eat, and if you don’t plan on using the tools and skills forever, then you are more than likely going to gain back every single pound you lose.

It’s for this reason I wasn’t so rigid with myself this past week. I am not going to give up coffee, tea, juice, and alcohol forever, nor am I going to vow never to visit a restaurant again. That’s not how I want to live my life. I have mentioned before that I have binge eating disorder, and that’s always going to be a problem for me, I think. I have to be very, very careful about not only what I eat, but how much I eat. But, with that said, I still don’t want to give up everything! I just want to learn to control myself and eat in moderation. I want to feel okay going out to eat at a restaurant or even going to a fast food joint. I haven’t binged since starting the Weight Watchers program–it’s taken a lot of self-discipline, but I’ve managed to avoid overdoing it with food, even when I’ve had compulsions. I am trying so, so hard to make better choices.

I missed my coffee desperately this week, though, so I took a risk and I stopped at Starbucks twice. I focused not on the fact that I was going out, but rather simply on the idea of making better choices. Instead of getting one of my go-to drinks, I ordered a non-fat, sugar free latte both times. I also met one of my friends at Taco Bell for lunch one day this past week. Instead of crazy overdoing it, again I made a much better, different choice. I ordered two shredded chicken tacos that day, which ended up costing me 4 points each–not bad considering the fact that I have 50 points to use up each day.

So, overall, this past week was about finding a balance. It was about learning to make better choices–choices that are going to let me be “normal” yet still healthy. And, lo and behold, that balancing act paid off! 3.6 pounds isn’t a bad loss. I feel pretty proud of myself.

Today, as I begin my new week, my focus is going to be entirely on exercise. I have to make myself get moving in that department–literally. Eating well is only half of it–exercise is going to be a big part of what ultimately helps me get to the finish line and lose the weight I want to lose. This week, my goal is to sweat!

~//~

To all those reading, thank you for your support and your kind thoughts and words. Kindness means so, so much to me. I hope each of you has a wonderful, healthy, and productive week! May we all continue to lose the weight that’s holding us down!

rachaelxoxo

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4 thoughts on “305.4

  1. Sounds like you are doing well. I went to doctor yesterday and still losing, now 62 lbs. If I can, you can. Your WW leader was right, it has to be life changes. When I cried out to God for help, I was led to only eat three meals and no snacks. I also am a binge eater. I had to break the eating 24/7. After I finally succeeded at that, then God spoke to my heart, “Now cut your meals in half”. So I still do that and it fits in my lifestyle.
    But I am excited about your progress, keep going, you can do it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Congratulations on your 62-pound loss! That is incredible and so exciting! You should feel so proud of yourself! Congratulations on learning to control your binging, too. Faith is an incredible, powerful thing!

      rachaelxoxo

      Like

    • Thank you very much! And congratulations on learning to control your binging! That is so wonderful, and I hope to someday be able to say that I, too, have learned to avoid triggers and live binge-free.

      My binging, I think, stems from a psychological need for control. I was raised in a very rigid environment, and my family relationships as a child were somewhat strained and chaotic. I also attended private schools that were very, very rigid. We were forced to wear uniforms and basically forsake all sense of ourselves. Everything was planned and decided for me in all areas of my life. So when I was young, I sincerely had no control over any part of my life.

      My binging started in my late teens–originally when I gained a sense of freedom by purchasing a car, which, in turn, afforded me more time to myself. Food is something I can control–even if that means eating so much that I’m sick. I used to plan out extreme binges days in advance. When I sit and reflect on it, that’s what it always comes back to: the planning and the control.

      I think that’s why I’ve had success with not binging thus far on Weight Watchers. I get to plan my meals and count points. In a way, that affords me even more control than going off on a food bender. So I am hoping that the Weight Watchers program is going to really help me with my control issues and help curb the binging.

      Fingers crossed.

      rachaelxoxo

      Like

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