Starting Weight: 318.2 lbs.
Weight Last Week: 264.8 lbs.
Current Weight: 264.2 lbs.
Weekly Change: –0.6 lbs.
Total Weight Lost: 54 lbs.
As you can see, I lost 0.6 lbs. this week, and while I’d normally be a little bit bummed out about such a minor loss, that is not the case today!
When I wrote to you earlier this week, I mentioned that I was having a tough time. Unfortunately, even after writing to you all, my week still continued to be difficult. I didn’t do well with my steps whatsoever this week — even after promising you I’d try harder — and my desire to overeat and mindlessly eat did not wane either.
On Wednesday, I was craving McDonald’s something fierce. I wanted a 10 piece order of Chicken McNuggets, which would’ve cost me 13P+. Add on two packets of my favorite dipping sauce—the spicy buffalo—and my meal would’ve rounded out to a total of 15P+. I get 43P+ to use for the whole day, and by the time lunch rolled around, I still had 29P+ to spare. I easily could’ve had the chicken nuggets and the dipping sauce and still had plenty of points leftover for dinner, but my conscience just would not let me answer the craving and go to McDonald’s. I haven’t been there since the very first day I started Weight Watchers—September 12, 2014—and I didn’t want to go back now because I know that McDonald’s is not a good place. I know that it’s not food that I should be eating.
So I didn’t go.
But I wish I had!
Since I didn’t answer the call of the craving and I ate my lunch at home instead, I overate majorly to compensate. I grabbed a bag of low-fat corn tortilla chips that I had sitting around, and I shoved the chips into my mouth by the fistful.
I was disgusted with myself after I did it. No — not simply because I ate the chips; I can handle eating too many chips. I was disgusted because of how I was eating them. I was, honest-to-god, shoving food into my mouth by the fistful, and there is absolutely no reason to do that.
Growing up, I used to do that when I’d secret eat. I was so fearful that someone was going to walk in and see what I was doing, so I’d stuff as much food into my mouth as possible, and I’d eat it all as quickly as I could. I knew, back then, that what I was doing wasn’t “normal” — that, in some sense, it was “wrong” — so shoving food into my mouth by the fistful still holds that same connotation for me.
I did it because, subconsciously, I thought that what I was doing was wrong.
I went over my daily allowance by 7P+ on Wednesday, and that was just one of several times I ended up dipping into my weeklies. Overall, I used 13 weeklies last week, all of which were used on garbage — nothing special, nothing that I really wanted, nothing worthwhile. That was absolutely, 100 percent, 13P+ of mindless eating.
And, on top of that, here’s what the step challenge looked like:
So yeah. That didn’t go well, obviously.
I barely moved all week. This is what my movement was like before I started getting healthy. It’s easy to see that I took several giant steps backwards, sadly.
But it’s OK! This is all part of the journey. Nothing is going to go smoothly or be perfect all the time. Perfection is impossible, and I know this. This was my first really and truly “off” week since I began this journey 6 months ago. I think I’ve done really well so far, and I am proud of myself and of my accomplishments. This one “off” week didn’t kill me or deter me — I still managed to come out the other end unscathed! I know that I have to do better, and I will. 🙂
So now you can probably see why I’m not the least bit disappointed with my 0.6 lb. loss. Honestly, it’s remarkable that I didn’t gain this week — I was expecting to.
In analyzing my week, though, I can see some serious change and improvement in myself eating-wise. It says a lot, I think, that when I went on a little mini-rampage I did so by overeating low-fat chips. Instead of getting in my car and driving to McDonald’s and eating half of the menu, I made a better choice in the midst of my bad choice… Does that make sense?
I guess what I’m trying to say is, even when I’m not doing things “right,” I’m still managing to do them better, and that makes me happy!
This second leg of the 1,000 Extra Steps Challenge ends on Monday, and as I mentioned in my last blog, I won’t be focusing quite so much on my walking (at least for a bit) once the challenge ends.
Instead, I am going to commit to 30 days of yoga!
Amber, Brittany, and Harley mentioned that they might be interested in making it a group activity/challenge sort of thing, and I like that idea! I love it when we can all help, encourage, and cheer each other on, so I’m always ready and willing to participate in group activities!
I am planning to go and look for a cheap beginner’s yoga DVD next week because I think it’ll motivate me more if I actually spend the money on it, but we don’t all necessarily have to do the same yoga routine. I will gladly post the name of the video I end up buying, but you could also go the free route and choose a yoga routine off of YouTube, too!
What do you think? Is this something any of you might like to do?
If so, I’m thinking we could maybe start on Monday, March 23, 2015.
Would that give everyone enough time to get situated and prepared to start?
I think this change of routine will be really good for me, and maybe it’ll be good for some of you, too, if you’re interested. Maybe just give it some thought, yeah?
This week is going to be better than last week; I am determined to have a good week! I am going to force myself to move more, and I’m also going to be more conscientious of my eating. This rut that I’m in is no more! I’m not going to let myself get off track for a second week. Nope!
I hope you all have a wonderful week, too.
Eat well. Be well.