256.0

Starting Weight: 318.2 lbs.
Weight Last Week: 258 lbs.
Current Weight: 256 lbs.
Weekly Change: –2 lbs.
Total Weight Lost: –62.2 lbs.

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Hello, friends!

I am in a WONDERFUL mood this evening!

This afternoon, I did the oral defense of my honors thesis (the defense that I wore the dress to), and I am thrilled to be able to tell you that I was awarded Summa Cum Laude! I honestly can’t believe it. I was expecting Magna Cum Laude (at best), but definitely not Summa Cum Laude.

I wore that dress that I bought that I thought I only “sort of” liked, and you know what? I think I rocked it. Really! Thanks to Alison’s suggestion, I bought a slip to wear underneath it, and that worked wonders in regards to smoothing things out. It was pouring rain here (seriously pouring—we had flash flooding in some areas), so I threw on a pair of white leggings underneath, too, and that helped, as well. It’s amazing what a little extra support can do. I was not self-conscious about my body at all. I went in there with confidence, and I spoke my piece, and, obviously, the panel was impressed!

After I left the defense, I started thinking about who I was 62.2 lbs. ago. Would I have felt confident enough to get up there and really speak? Would I have focused on the panel and what I was doing, or would I have been tugging at my clothes and wiggling around and feeling so self-conscious about my body? Would I have been as focused and well articulated?

I can’t answer any of those questions for sure, but I can certainly tell you what I think.

I think the answer to all of the above would be a resounding NO.

62.2 lbs. ago, I made it a point to blend in to my surroundings like nobody’s business. I was the girl that only spoke when spoken to. I was the girl with constantly downward cast eyes. I was the girl who was constantly tugging at her clothes, wiggling around, trying—in vain—to appear to be much thinner than she was.

62.2 lbs. ago, I would never have worn a dress to something as important as this, because it would have made me so uncomfortable. I never would have been able to confidently stand up and talk about myself and my interests and my work so freely and openly without fear or self-doubt.

It felt so good.

And it also opened my eyes to something: I was so disappointed in myself before, but I didn’t really realize it at the time. My previous actions spoke so loudly though, didn’t they?

It’s funny what you notice when you really make an effort to clean up your life.

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Before I went to my college campus today for the defense, I did make it in to Weight Watchers this morning.

Honestly, I was not looking forward to facing the scale.

The quality of my food this week was not very good. Last Friday, I went to IHOP and ordered a 3-piece plate of bananas foster french toast. It was 26PP. I also had a cup of grits (2pp), and I used about 2Tbsp. of real butter (6pp) between the french toast and the grits. So, yes, I did have a 34pp dinner.

And, believe it or not, I actually planned for that (somewhat). I’d been craving that meal for weeks, so I decided to just go ahead and order it. I thought, “I have an ‘extra’ 49pp every week that I hardly touch, so it’s OK to use them on french toast.”

So I did.

I get 42pp per day, and last Friday, I used 60pp.

I was OK with this. I ordered what I wanted, I tracked, and I was in control of the situation.

But, unfortunately, I ended up regretting it later.

See, that one decision sort of set the tone for my entire week. I started snacking more—eating more popcorn and Larabars and pop chips. And I started using more of my weeklies here and there.

I used more weeklies this past week than I have during the entire 8-month timespan I’ve been on Weight Watchers.

I used a total of 27 weeklies last week—more than half of them.

So, honestly, it’s a miracle that I lost 2 lbs.

On one hand, I’m somewhat disappointed because I still didn’t manage to shake the weight I mysteriously gained last week, but on the other hand, I know that after the way I ate this past week, I’m lucky to have lost at all.

So, it’s for this reason that I’ve decided to do an entire week of Simply Filling. I got all of the power foods I needed yesterday, and I’m excited to give my body a break from the processed junk I overindulged in this past week. My week is going to consist of good, wholesome food, and I’m going back to basics.

I ate super well today (and didn’t use any of my weeklies, which is unusual for a Friday!), but I did slip just a tiny bit and had a 2pp Weight Watchers ice cream bar to “celebrate” my Summa Cum Laude award. Other than that, though, it was all Simply Filling.

Hopefully this really helps me and I can finally lose some “new” weight next week!

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I hope each of you had a very happy and productive week, and I wish you a wonderful upcoming week, too.

Eat well. Be well.

rachaelxoxo