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Starting Weight: 318.2 lbs.
Weight Last Week: 251.6 lbs.
Current Weight: 250.4 lbs.
Weekly Change: –1.2 lbs.
Total Weight Lost: 67.8 lbs.

Hi, friends!

Well, as you can see, I lost 1.2 lbs. this week. That’s definitely a step in the right direction, but, even so, I still wasn’t able to totally makeup from last week’s hiccup. I still maintained 1 lb. from last week’s gain.

Yes, I am definitely a little disappointed, and, yes, I definitely would like to get the heck off of this roller coaster and figure out how to get my weight loss to move in the right direction consistently, but, even so, I’m trying not to let those feelings and emotions stress me out.

I just have to keep moving forward—that’s all there is to it.

There is absolutely no other option for me.

I can be sad, disappointed, confused, whatever… But the one thing that I cannot do is give up.

I absolutely WILL NOT weigh 300+ lbs. again.


So even if the scale continues to play an up and down game with me, I just have to keep striving to make the best possible choices and work to be the best version of myself that I can be.

I cannot let those numbers get the best of me.

I visited my dear friend Betty in the hospital on Tuesday of this week, and when she asked me how I was, the very first thing I said was, “I gained weight.”

Her response?

“And? So what? You’ll lose it. If you keep following the program, eventually you’ll have to lose weight.”

I laughed, and I guess I had an epiphany—that’s where all of this seemingly new found wisdom is coming from.

Betty is absolutely right; if I just keep making the best decisions that I can, eventually I will get over this hump.

That’s just the way it goes!

I also had a nice little chat with Alison this week, and we reminisced about some of our exceptionally poor choices of the past. We recalled some of our binges and food benders, and we used the Weight Watchers app to calculate the PointsPlus value of those foods.

Believe it or not, doing that was really helpful.

I very quickly realized that I am an entirely different person these days. Sometimes I beat myself up for eating a few pieces of candy or using my weeklies on something that I don’t think is a “good choice,” but even the worst of the worst that I do now is 100x better than the choices I used to make.

I am lightyears beyond that toxic behavior now, and that is so important to remember!

I am definitely still a work in progress, but I have done a heck of a good job so far.

I just need to press on.

Let’s talk quickly about goals.

My June goals were mostly a flop, if I’m being real with you…

I’ve made some goals for July, though, and I’m hoping that they are better and more realistic:

  • No mindless snacking
  • Meditate every day
  • Bring back the Fitbit

My thinking was that I should try to pick one food-related goal to work towards, one mental health-related goal to work towards, and one fitness-related goal to work towards.

My back is still giving me major problems, but walking doesn’t irritate it whatsoever, so I should definitely be able to wear my Fitbit and use that as a guiding tool for some exercise. Walking isn’t my favorite type of fitness by any means, but until I get my back straightened out (literally!), this is going to have to work. I’ve worn my Fitbit every day since the start of the month, and I’m slowly but surely getting back into the swing of things. I’m really hopeful that this is going to help!

I have also been successful in meditating each day. While browsing Ashton Kutcher’s website, APlus, I came across this article talking about a condition known as ASMR—Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response.

“Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR) is a physical sensation characterized by a pleasurable tingling that typically begins in the head and scalp, and often moves down the spine and through the limbs… Despite an abundance of anecdotal evidence, there’s not much hard science on ASMR… There are no published research studies, and the best any scientists can do is compare it to migraine headaches…

‘We know they exist as a syndrome primarily because many different people report the same constellation of symptoms and natural history,’ Steven Novella, a clinical neurologist at Yale said in a 2012 blog post. He also theorized that the triggers for ASMR all activate the same networks in the brain, and that it could be some kind of tiny pleasure seizure.”

I have experienced this since I was a child, but I definitely didn’t have a name for it, and I also definitely didn’t realize that this was a condition—I thought everyone experienced it. After talking to several friends, though, I found out that that’s not the case.

Once I figured out that I had this, I started looking up ASMR “trigger” videos on YouTube, and I stumbled upon some really cool things! I have never been able to successfully meditate on my own before—until, that is, I found some of these ASMR videos. Once I found a couple of good meditation ASMR videos that worked for me, it was easy to commit to this goal. I’ve meditated each and every night for just over a week now—even before the month of July got started. I see this goal as being hugely successful and achievable for me, which is exciting! I’ve also noticed that the meditation is really helping me sleep better, as well, which, I’ve heard, is a plus when it comes to achieving weight loss!

As for the avoidance of mindless snacking—so far, so good on that front, too! I’ve noticed that I’ve gotten a little sloppy these past couple of months. Instead of trying to intuitively eat and listen to and feel for my body’s hunger signals, I’ve just been stuffing my face for the sake of using points.

That ends now.

I’m going to (try to) go back to simply doing 3 fairly large meals a day without any snacking in-between. If, however, I notice that my body isn’t operating well on that schedule, I’ll happily re-introduce some snacking, but the snacks need to be a whole lot better in quality than they have been as of late. If I snack at all, I’m going to go for Greek yogurts, reduced-fat cheese sticks, fruits and veggies, or single-serve bags of 94% fat-free popcorn—so, basically, this means I’m only going to allow myself to snack on power foods if and when I snack at all.

All in all, I think these are great goals, and I’m hopeful that I can accomplish these things and see some results!

I still have that bigger-picture summer goal that I made hanging over my head, too; I still would like to be in the 230s by the time summer is over. If I work hard and make every effort to achieve these goals, I still think that’s doable!

I have also made two small goals for the week: 1) I am going to drink a cup of green tea every single morning with my breakfast, and 2) I’m not going to use any weeklies on any day except for tomorrow, Saturday, July 4th. 

As I’m sure you all know (or at least my American friends know, that is), tomorrow is Independence Day.

I’m having a big family barbecue at my house to celebrate, but I’ve taken lots of steps to ensure that I have some great, healthy choices to eat at the dinner.

I maintain a very strict pollo-pescetarian diet, which means, essentially, that I don’t eat mammals.

While the rest of my family chows down on smoked barbecue pulled pork sandwiches and grilled pork beer brats, I’ll be eating some grilled pheasant-chicken brats stuffed with mushrooms and parmesan cheese that I got at a local specialty deli. They are nitrate-free, and they contain no artificial flavors or ingredients. The chickens and pheasants used were raised without the use of antibiotics or hormones, and they were fed a vegetarian diet. There’s also no MSG added. The brats are 3 PointsPlus each!

I am also making a big bowl of fresh fruit salad that contains bananas, strawberries, grapes, pineapple, and mandarin oranges—which will be a zero PointsPlus side!

There will also be mustard potato salad and macaroni salad available—sides that were purchased at the local grocery store—but I’m not sure that I’m going to be eating any. Half a cup of the potato salad is 4 PointsPlus, so maybe I’ll have a bit… But I’m not totally sure!

For dessert, there will be watermelon (which is zero PointsPlus) and peaches grilled on the barbecue with some brown sugar, unsalted butter, and rum. The peaches will be served with vanilla ice cream (my family will have “regular” ice cream, and I will have a little Breyers Carb Smart vanilla ice cream, which is 3 PointsPlus for half a cup or 5 PointsPlus for a full cup)! I haven’t calculated the PointsPlus value of the peaches yet, but I will before indulging in them.

And then, of course, there will be lots of beer, too!

Here’s my plan: I’m going to have 1 pheasant-chicken brat (3PP) on a bun (3pp) topped with sauerkraut (0PP), a big helping of fruit salad (0PP), 1 or 2 beers (5-10PP), and then a cup of vanilla ice cream (5pp) with a serving of the grilled peaches (TBD). For all of that, without knowing the value of the peaches, it’s between 16 and 21 PointsPlus. I get 41 PointsPlus for the day, and I’m planning to eat “normally” at breakfast and lunch.

This is a holiday, and it’s OK to use weeklies—weeklies are a part of life. So, for that reason, I’m going to allow myself to use weeklies to indulge in all of the aforementioned things–no matter what! I may also end up having some potato salad for 4 PointsPlus—we’ll see.

This is the only day of the week that I’m allowing myself to use weeklies, and I’m going to do it in a really controlled fashion. I have a plan, and I’m sticking to it!

As for the green tea goal… That’s just a little experiment. I drink green tea whenever the craving strikes, and I always have one or two cups the day before a weigh-in, but I’ve heard that green tea really helps your metabolism run smoothly, so I’m going to drink green tea with my breakfast every morning for a week instead of my usual coffee, and we’ll see where that gets me!

I hope you all have a wonderful and safe holiday tomorrow, and I hope the upcoming week is great, too.

Eat well. Be well.



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