Starting Weight: 318.2 lbs.
Weight Last Week: 250.4 lbs.
Current Weight: 245.6 lbs.
Weekly Change: –4.8 lbs.
Total Weight Lost: 72.6 lbs.
I have been walking on sunshine all day long! I know, I know—I still definitely need to work on not letting the scale control or dictate my mood like this… But come on!
LOOK AT THOSE NUMBERS!
Celebrate with me for just a second!
I lost 4.8 lbs.! I am firmly in the 240s! And I S U R P A S S E D the big 7-0 and went straight to 72.6!
I am ecstatic, and I owe you all a huge thank-you.
Thank you for seeing me through this and for being here with me as I celebrate this victory.
I know that some of my more recent blogs have been moody and emotional… so thank you for sticking with me in spite of that—for sending me words of encouragement, for sharing bits and pieces of your own lives and experiences with me, and for doing what you can to reach through the computer screen and push me onwards and upwards.
My goal for this blog is and has always been to document every step of my journey—the good, the bad, and the ugly—and that’s what I’ve been doing. I’m documenting the moments when the mirror makes me cringe. I’m documenting the moments when the scale makes me shed some tears. I’m documenting the moments when my body starts throwing me for a loop. And, of course, I’m documenting all of the joyous, monumental, exciting, and phenomenal moments, too.
I know that not everyone wants to read the not-so-glamorous moments—I know that some of you probably think that I’m melodramatic or that I just need to buck up… But skipping over those moments that might seem melodramatic or whatnot is not the point of my blog.
I don’t, for one single second, want anyone to think that this isn’t difficult or that I don’t struggle or that I don’t fall down or that I don’t have things that I’m continuously working on.
In my Weight Watchers meeting, I get the feeling that sometimes folks think that about me—that some of them think that my weight loss has happened in a straight, downward line and that I’ve got complete control over my body.
That’s not the case—for me or for anyone else.
And I need you to know that.
I spent far too many years of my young life feeling isolated and alone because I didn’t realize that there were other people going through exactly what I was going through. So if this blog can help anyone else see that there’s at least one other person in the world who struggles, too, then that makes me happy. If not, I’m still happy, because these words are my story. These words are the snapshots of these moments in time that are so vital to the makeup of the woman that I’m becoming. I am thankful that I’ve written these things down so that I can always come back to them and remember exactly where I’ve come from.
Thanks for being here for this experience, and thanks for enabling me to be myself in this space.
Thanks for also keeping all of those melodramatic comments to yourself, too, if that is, indeed, what you think of me! 🙂
So! Let’s dissect the week a little bit to see what inspired this very uncharacteristic loss.
Here’s what was different:
1) I traded out all of my low-cal, reduced-blah-blah-blah breads for freshly baked bagels that were either 7 or 8 PointsPlus each, depending on the flavor.
My aunt manages an Einstein Bagels chain, and on the 4th of July, she brought a big bag of fresh ones over. There were all sorts of flavors—all of which were absolutely delicious—and I ate one or more of these bagels every single day.
I realized two very important things as I was eating these bagels: 1) because they were “regular” bagels and were so much higher in points than my normal low-cal breads, I automatically adjusted my plate to makeup for the difference, and 2) whether it was a mental or a truly physical thing… these breads made me feel a heck of a lot more full than the low-cal or reduced-whatever breads.
What I mean by that first realization is that I really watched my carb and starch intake at meals when I was eating these higher point breads. When I eat a bagel thin or a low-cal English muffin, I have no problem eating another type of starchy carb with that. For example, here’s a “typical” breakfast when I’m using some sort of “lite” bread: 2 eggs (4 PointsPlus), a toasted bagel thin (3 PointsPlus), grits (2 PointsPlus), and a banana (0 PointsPlus). Here’s what happened when I was eating “regular” bread: a bagel (7-8 PointsPlus), an egg (2 PointsPlus), and a ton of fruit (0 PointsPlus).
I was eating the exact same number of points, but when I was eating higher point bread, my plate was actually much more balanced and better for my body.
2) I ate a ton of fresh fruit—so much that I actually began to worry that maybe I was eating too much fruit (because of the sugar content).
For the 4th of July, I made a fresh fruit salad consisting of a whole pineapple, 3 large bananas, 5 clementines, 1 whole box of strawberries, and half of a large bag of green grapes. The rest of the guests at the barbecue had a bit of the fruit salad, but I had about three quarters of it left once the get-together was all said and done… So I polished the rest of that bad boy off by Monday or so!
I also had more fruit leftover that didn’t end up in the salad; it was just sitting there in my fridge. By Tuesday night, I’d decided that I was going to make another fruit salad with the rest of the leftovers because I knew that unless that fruit was chopped and ready to go, I would let it rot. So I whipped up another big bowl of fruit salad; I threw in the other half of the bag of green grapes, 5 more clementines, 3 peaches, 3 bananas, a whole box of strawberries, and a whole box of blueberries!
That second big bowl? I polished it off last night.
I ate fruit at every single meal—breakfast, lunch, and dinner—and we’re not just talking a couple of spoonfuls… I filled up 50% of my plate with fruit each and every time, and I ate it all! I also managed to squeeze some veggies on my plate at some of those meals, too! And you know what? I didn’t get any crazy sugar cravings like I do when I eat processed sugars, and I also didn’t snack at all last week. Fruits and veggies keep you full!
3) I made a plan for the usage of my weeklies, and I stuck to it.
In my blog last week, I stated that I was going to let myself use weeklies on Saturday, July 4th, and that was it. I was firm in my decision not to dip into my weekly allowance willy nilly, and because of that, I planned my days better, and I didn’t let myself get caught off guard. I’m usually pretty good about planning my meals and whatnot, but being strict about those weeklies took me from pretty good to pretty great because it took away that security blanket.
4) I wore my Fitbit every day, and I tracked other activity, too—stuff like cleaning the house, vacuuming, whatever.
Unlike when I started those step challenges back in the beginning of the year, I only used my Fitbit as a guiding tool for exercise this week. I stopped worrying about the number of steps—I stopped setting number targets altogether, actually. Instead, I’d just check the Fitbit to see where I was. If I was close to hitting something—like 5,000 steps—I’d do a little extra walking to get there. If I wasn’t close, I didn’t stress.
I recorded my other activities for the same reasons—I just wanted to be able to see that I was doing something. There’s nothing wrong with having a more laid back attitude about this stuff—at least for now—I’ve come to realize.
5) I ran out of back medication, so I switched back to my trusty friend, ibuprofen.
To all those who’ve been telling me from the get-go that the medication I was taking for my back problems might’ve been to blame for the problems with my weight loss: here’s to you.
Maybe you were right. Who knows?
All I know is that I’ve made the decision to stop taking all medications that aren’t over-the-counter. My back hurts—so badly sometimes that I actually just sit and cry—but prescription medication is not the answer.
Without realizing it, I became a little too dependent on those drugs, I think. I claimed they weren’t taking any of my pain away, but once I was off of the medicine cold-turkey, my pain increased ten-fold, so, apparently, I was wrong—they were taking at least some of the pain away. But, regardless, the pills were only masking the problem—they weren’t fixing it—and that’s not doing me any good now, nor will it do any good in the long run, so I’m investigating other avenues of treatment for this.
But no more medication.
6) I fell terribly ill on Wednesday, so I consumed way less food than normal on that day… and yesterday, too.
This one is self-explanatory. I was sick: my body hurt so badly that a light brush against my skin reduced me to tears, I had a fever, and I was literally delirious (I was chanting prayers from Catholic school that I haven’t uttered in years, and I was also trying to meditate the pain away and mentally “isolate the pain” to just one spot. At one point, I think I seriously (yes, seriously) pleaded for death because the pain was that bad. I thought I was going to need to go to the hospital at that point. I also realized at that moment that I would never survive childbirth, so biological children are not in my future!).
Thankfully, I’m feeling 100% today, so whatever that was seems to be gone.
Maybe I sweat some fat out while I writhed in pain and waited for the fever to break?! 🙂
I think maybe all of these things played a part in the weight loss, to be honest, and I’m OK with that. My body needed something to jumpstart it back into gear, and I’d say all of this created the perfect storm.
So I’m planning to implement some major changes based on this past week’s decisions:
1) I’m going to be eating a lot more fruits and veggies. There’s a whole pineapple, a big bunch of bananas, a bag of grapes, some clementines, some avocados, and lots of salad in my kitchen, as we speak. 50% of every single plate that I consume is going to be packed with fruits and veggies from now on—always.
2) I’m cutting back on the low-cal, lite, reduced-whatever breads—not necessarily eliminating, just cutting back… for now. Here’s the fact of the matter: they don’t taste as good as the real thing, they don’t fill me up the same way as the real thing, and they obviously aren’t saving me any points either—I proved that to myself this week. Instead of making better choices when I eat these low point breads, I actually would argue my choices are worse. I am eating more food simply because the points are there and because the food is kind of mediocre. Enough of that! I’m going to make some better choices—maybe some choices that are a little higher in points—but I’m going to make sure the plate is balanced to compensate.
3) I’m going to stop using my weeklies until further notice. It took me a long time to get comfortable with using them in the first place; from the very start, I was worried that they’d be detrimental to my journey. Now that I’ve gotten mostly comfortable with using them, I’ve realized that I was probably right in the beginning. My daily PointsPlus allowance is still pretty high, and I don’t think I need to be eating much more than 41 PointsPlus per day right now. I haven’t been using the weeklies to do anything other than eat crappy food anyways, and I totally use them as a security blanket, so from this point forward, I’m only going to touch those if there’s a “special occasion”—something like a barbecue, a big family dinner, a night out at the bar with a friend, etc. Using weeklies must be accompanied by a plan. No more spur of the moment weekly usage! If I just want extra food on a regular ‘ole weekday, I need to figure out how to accommodate that within my daily allowance. Once I’m down to 30-35 or so PointsPlus per day, I’ll reevaluate.
So that’s that! That’s what’s happening, that’s my new plan of action, and there are, of course, lots of little goals tucked away within that hugely long spiel!
My next weight loss goal is just around the corner: I’m now just 2.4 lbs. away from a 75 lb. loss! Can you believe it? My big goal for the summer was to hit the 230s by the time summer drew to a close, and I really, really, really think it’s possible now, too! If I do manage to do that, I’m going to celebrate in a big way: I’m going to go to a local amusement park here in the city and try to get on some rides! I’m sure it’ll be nerve-wracking, but I can only hope for the best! Fingers crossed that I won’t be too big to ride!
If you’ve made it this far in the blog, thank you so much for reading—this might be my wordiest one yet!
I hope you’ve all had a wonderful week, and I wish good things for your upcoming week, too.
Eat well. Be well.