245.6 (…again)

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Starting Weight: 318.2 lbs.
Weight Last Week: 245.6 lbs.
Current Weight: 245.6 lbs.
Weekly Change: 0 lbs.
Total Weight Lost: 72.6 lbs.

Hi, friends!

As you can see from the above stats, I maintained my weight this week.

For the very first time since starting my journey, I was absolutely, positively OK with what the scale said this morning, and I didn’t feel any stress whatsoever. I truthfully didn’t feel one way or the other about these numbers, which is a rarity for me. Usually I have some sort of expectation when I step on the scale (good or bad), but, strangely, I didn’t walk into Weight Watchers this morning anticipating anything.

Sure, it would’ve been nice to have lost 2.4 lbs., bringing my total weight loss to an even 75 lbs. down, but I wasn’t expecting that that’s what was going to happen.

I really, really liked feeling this way! It was nice not to be stressed or upset or emotional; it was really, really nice not to expect or anticipate the numbers.

It’s my hope that I can eventually adjust my attitude so that I can always respond to weigh-ins this way!

When I sat back and contemplated my attitude and my reaction to the scale this morning, I came to a conclusion about my response, and I think it boils down to two things:

  1. I didn’t really and truly believe that my loss from last week was “real” because a 4.8 lb. loss is very out of character for me at this point in my journey.
  2. And, most importantly, for the very first time, I believed, wholeheartedly, that I did the absolute best that I could this week. 

In the beginning of my weight loss journey—back when I still weighed over 300 lbs., or even when I was up in the 290s—I still had some pretty big losses. However, as I’ve started creeping lower and lower into the 200s, my weight loss has definitely tapered off. When I was still in the 280s/70s/60s, I was losing 2-2.8 lbs. a week, but, even then, a loss of 4 or more lbs. wasn’t in the cards.

And then, of course, you all know that I struggled horribly through the 250s, so there weren’t any “big” losses during those weeks either.

So, is it all that surprising, then, that I didn’t fully trust the scale last Friday when it told me that I’d suddenly sailed halfway through the 240s in just one week’s time?

I guess in the back of my mind, I was wondering if maybe I’d gotten a little too lucky.

The scale has played a rough game of give and take with me since April, so I think I’d mentally prepared myself for a setback, but, thankfully, that appears to have been unnecessary!

The second realization that I had was a much sweeter one, and it made me much happier and shows a lot of progression, I think. Typically, I think about my week in terms of “what could I have done better?” but, for once, I didn’t think about that this week.

I was totally and completely happy with how my week went; there’s nothing for me to nitpick whatsoever.

I stuck to my plan of not using weeklies. I preplanned all of my meals. I ate plenty of fruits and veggies (maybe not as many as the week prior, but I still had plenty!). And, most importantly, I was just really relaxed and content all week long.

Progress, yeah?

Since the beginning of May, I’ve been gaining weight every four weeks:

Weigh-in #34: 05/01/2015 — 258.0 lbs. (weekly change = +3.4 lbs.)
Weigh-in #38: 05/29/2015 — 253.6 lbs. (weekly change = +1.4 lbs.)
Weigh-in #42: 06/26/2015 — 251.6 lbs. (weekly change = +2.2 lbs.)

If my body has indeed now developed a pattern, that means that I’m in for a gain this coming Friday.

So my goal for this week is to not let myself get complacent.

I’m going to continue to do what I’ve been doing: I’m not going to use weeklies, I’m going to preplan all of my meals, I’m going to eat lots of fruits and veggies, and I’m going to get in exercise whenever I can—even if it’s something as simple as 10 minutes of vacuuming.

Just because there’s a chance that I might have a gain on Friday doesn’t mean that I’m going to eat poorly and exacerbate the circumstances.

I’m just going to continue on, and whatever will be, will be.

I’m trying to find my zen.

Can you tell?

I hope you all had a fabulous week, and I wish you a wonderful upcoming week, too.

Eat well. Be well.



2 thoughts on “245.6 (…again)

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