245.2 (again, surely) + NYE Thoughts + Wishes

upup&away

 

Starting Weight: 318.2 lbs.
Weight Last Week: 241.2 lbs.
Current Weight: 245.2 lbs.
Weekly Change: +4 lbs.
Total Weight Lost: –73 lbs.


Hello, my dear friends!

Whelp, here we are—the very last day of the year! Here in Denver, there are just under three hours left in 2015, which is hard to believe!

I have to admit that I am not entirely pleased with how I ended up closing the year… But there are far worse things that could be happening, so I won’t complain too much!

I am up another 4 lbs., which was to be expected after my horribly overindulgent week. I already wrote to you about my Christmas Eve and Day mishaps with food, but, unfortunately, my “mistakes” didn’t end there.

I turned 23 this past Monday, December 28th, and that day was a horrible free-for-all food-wise, too. I had a little Italian food binge and about four too many Alabama Slammers… I paid dearly for my choices—both literally and metaphorically.

Stepping on the scale today was painful. I was expecting to weigh-in at 245-246 lbs., so it wasn’t a shock, per say… But suddenly I’m just a little too close to the big 2-5-0 for my liking! For the longest time, I never even imagined I’d be able to get below that weight as an adult. Now that I’ve managed to do it, under no circumstances am I going to go backwards and end up above it again!

Enough is enough.

I purchased a new starter kit at Weight Watchers this morning to try to help me better get a grip on the new SmartPoints program, and I hit the grocery store immediately after my meeting and spent a good deal of time walking the aisles and scanning food and calculating points.

Tomorrow’s New Year’s dinner is going to be a big bowl of fresh fruit salad (0SP), an Oikos triple zero peach Greek yogurt (3SP), some Blue Diamond nut thins (4SP), and a serving of Hormel grilled buffalo-style chicken (2SP) on a bakery-fresh potato roll (3SP)! The whole dinner is going to be a total of 12 SmartPoints, which will put only a small dent in my daily total of 41.

Maybe I’m finally getting the hang of how to eat!


My fellow blogging friend, Katrina, has been checking in with me daily via text, trying her hardest to keep me motivated and on track. Her support has been invaluable the past couple of days, and with her help, I really think I’m going to be able to start 2016 off on the right foot!

She’s making use of a guided fit journal, and thanks to her, in about a week’s time I’ll be making use of the same one!

I’m excited to try something new. This has been a great help to her thus far, and I’m hoping the same thing is true for me!

It’s time for a positive change.


Last year on New Year’s Eve here on the blog, I said that I wasn’t “…going to make any resolutions or promises beyond… simply promising to be good to myself in 2015… promising to do whatever I can to make myself the better, more active, healthier, and happier person I dream of being.”

I made good on that promise to the best of my ability, I think.

What I’ve learned over the course of this past year is that things aren’t always perfect, nor are they always easy.

Back when I made that promise in 2014, I was only a couple of months into my health journey, and I was still flying high on the happy feelings associated with rapid weight loss and fairly easy successes. I hadn’t yet had dips in motivation or experienced weight plateaus; I hadn’t yet really started to push myself beyond what I ever imagined possible and dealt with the stress, anxiety, and genuine fear that comes along with that; I hadn’t yet had to deal with extreme stress or other intense feelings and emotions brought about by the unexpected twists and turns of life that make living healthy and doing the “right” thing sometimes hard to navigate.

Back then, I still had stars in my eyes and didn’t truly understand the severity of my addiction and the absolute hell this journey would put me through.

So yeah—I’ve stumbled this year… more times than I’d like to admit or accept… But I haven’t given up when the going got tough. I’m down 73 lbs., which is more than I can say for any New Years Eve of yesteryear.

This is a marathon, not a sprint, and I’m still doing OK. I have done so much this year that I never even dreamed possible, and I have had a lot of genuinely happy moments. I’ve celebrated success at the scale, and, more importantly, I’ve celebrated success off the scale.

I wore a dress to present my undergraduate honors thesis back in May, and again at my college graduation a couple of weeks ago, and I felt amazing both times.

I made new friends, allowed myself to date and dream about falling in love and be silly like a normal 20-something, and I started to think about the future in positive reflections of all that.

I completed a 5K in under an hour when, just over a year ago, I couldn’t even walk from my couch to the fridge without being out of breath. Even more shocking? I signed up for four more races so that I could finish out the series in 2016.

Most importantly, though, I started being honest about my life and my struggles. I stopped hiding behind anonymity here on the blog, and I started telling certain people in my “real life” about my journey, my weight loss, and my problems. I even spoke at two separate events for Weight Watchers and told the terrible, nitty-gritty truth of my weight issues, and I didn’t hold anything back.

So in the grand scheme of things, I’m doing well—slip-ups and mistakes be damned.

And I’m going to continue on in 2016 with the exact same promise to myself that I made last year: I promise to be good to myself in 2016 and do whatever I can to make myself the better, more active, healthier, and happier person I dream of being.

If I continue to make this same promise to myself each year and manage to do the best that I can with it, then one day I actually will be the person I’ve always dreamed of being… and what more could I ask for than that?


Thanks for sticking with me this year, friends.

It’s been a wild ride, but I’ve enjoyed it tremendously.

I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am without all of you—truly. You mean more to me than I can say. Thank you for reading, commenting, messaging, lurking, and, more importantly, for sharing your own stories and making your own voices heard. I’m always reading, listening, and learning. Always.

Happy New Year! Here’s to another year of hard work, dedication, and tremendous success!

I couldn’t be more excited!

I wish you nothing but good health, endless happiness, and good fortune.

In the words of Neil Gaiman, “May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.”

Until next time,

Eat well. Be well.

rachaelxoxo

 

 

 

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3 thoughts on “245.2 (again, surely) + NYE Thoughts + Wishes

  1. I am proud of you and your accomplishments of your personal victories. This new year will hold many more victories for you.
    I’m looking forward to reading about each and every one.
    Don’t worry about last week, just get up and start over. I see you have started over and know that I am am am proud proud proud of you, Deb

    Liked by 1 person

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