Happy.

Today has been one of the happiest days of my life… And I just felt the need to pen a reminder of that to myself—albeit a short one.

When you start to treat yourself well, expect the absolute best of yourself, and enjoy the whole process of discovering who you are as a human being and all that that entails, other people start to take your lead, and your life begins to change in a tangible way.

When I started this journey back in September of 2014, I never, ever would’ve imagined that happiness—true happiness—like this existed… not for me, anyway. When you spend the first two decades of your life hating yourself, literally eating away your chances at happiness… well, it’s hard to ever imagine an alternate reality, one where good things happen to you and life occasionally throws you a bone or two.

Lately, amazing things have been happening to me, though… And the Universe has definitely thrown me more than my fair share of bones.

I have experienced more true happiness in the past year than I ever, ever, ever thought possible… And each day, I’m trying to learn to be a more gracious and grateful person because of that.


 

Today, Weight Watchers dropped an opportunity in my lap that’s truly going to be life changing, I think—I hope. I don’t want to talk too much about it now, but, eventually, I’ll have some news to share with you guys on this subject… some really, really exciting news!

Also… I’ve come to realize—startlingly, I might add—that I am worth other people’s time.

I know… novel concept, right?

But… It’s true. For a long time, I had this attitude of “just take what you can get” because I valued myself so little that I figured it’d be a waste of time to even dream that other human beings could see something in me that was worthwhile.

Today, I decided to put myself out there—like really put myself out there.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that a cute guy chatted me up at my graduation ceremony (he was a fellow graduate), and tonight, I decided that I was going to bite the bullet and try to strike up a conversation with him on social media because I am interesting enough to converse with other interesting human beings.

At the risk of sounding naively 23 (even though I am naively 23)… I just couldn’t stop thinking about this guy. Meeting him was like one of those rom-com made-up Hollywood moments… He was smart and funny and so nice (and, yes, good looking, too!)… And we had a really good time goofing off and talking about whatever pointless things we could find to talk about to pass the time before we flipped our tassels… And he didn’t—for one single, solitary second—make me feel like I wasn’t worth his time or energy or attention.

And after hours of talking over text and getting to know each other a little better tonight, I still feel that way—that I’m worth this time and effort and attention… and not just his time and effort and attention, but the time and effort and attention of other human beings in general… Because I am interesting. And nice. And smart. And sometimes even funny. 🙂

My life is changing. Everything is changing… And I’m so, so happy.

There are a lot of bad, terrible, challenging, horrendous days that litter a journey like this—I know that because I’ve felt it… I’ve lived through several bad, bad, bad episodes.

But I still have faith that I can come out the other side whole and happy and healthy.

Today, I actually told someone that I will make it to goal—or I’ll die trying… And I actually believed it.

Today was a day for the books.

rachaelxoxo

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8 thoughts on “Happy.

  1. Great great great! You are more than worth anyone’s time, you are so awesome and you are one of my closest friends, even though we’ve never even spoken over the phone. It makes my heart glad to see you realizing how worthy you are!
    I know what you mean about feeling unworthy. That’s why I basically never schedule time to hangout with friends. I honestly am not sure I know how to hang out, what to do or where to go lol.

    I’m going to reiterate (so as to end on a happy note) how excellent it is to see this mental and emotional transformation in you. I think that’s a far greater achievement even than the incredible physical transformation you are creating in yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Katrina! ❤

      I adore you and am so happy we're friends! The blog has connected me to all sorts of awesome people—you being a great one! Someday (hopefully sooner, rather than later!) we'll meet in-person and we can hangout and practice the whole idea of being worthy! 😀

      Thanks for being a voice of reason and constant support! You're helping me transform! Xo.

      Like

  2. I am so happy glad for you my young friend. You are going forth in victory.
    You are worth more than you know, much more.
    I’m so very proud of you.
    Your post made me smile and be happy for you.

    I have a book published,
    God is so good.
    Deb

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am so very, very happy for you, Debbie! How can I buy a copy of the book?! I want to support you in any way that I can—payback for your constant support and kindness to me over the course of my journey!

      I just adore you and could not do this without your help! You’ve been here since the start, and that means so much to me! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

      Xoxox 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Rachel, you are so precious to me. I am thrilled at the new events of your life. I am excited over your future. I am so proud of you, proud for you.
        You don’t have to buy a book, just be my friend.
        But in case you’re interested, the book is : The God Plan, Daily Inspiration for Victory Over the Scales. It is available through Amazon.com.
        You don’t have to get it though, I have always said, “It’s God’s book, He can do with it what He wants.” LOL!
        Love and God’s blessings from your old friend, Debbie

        Like

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